Spoiler Rant

Sam Robinson decides why trailers and commercials before t.v. and films are just giving him the anger fits. - The Editor

Written by: Sam Robinson

It's a Wednesday night at 11:32 PM. After a long, arduous day of work, I warm up some leftover Mexican food, inhale some green medication, plop onto my couch and am ready to unwind to the dulcet Tones of a new episode of The Americans. After waiting on pins and needles for 6 days and 23 hours, I am ready to find out whether the FBI is closing in any further on Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell. I hit play on the DVR, and what do I see? A PREVIEW FOR THE SHOW I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING WATCH TELLING ME WHATS ABOUT TO FUCKING HAPPEN!!!

The phrase "spoiler alert" has become a large part of our society. In the past few years, with the proliferation of social media, and the expansion of advertising on the internet (ESPN.com made me watch a trailer of Olympus has Fallenbefore allowing me to see baseball box scores)  it has become harder and harder to watch a movie or television show without having some sort of idea of what is going to happen beforehand. 

I hate trailers and episode previews. Many witnesses can attest to my visceral reaction of going earmuffs whenever a trailer or "next week on" pop up. One could just tell me to stop the DVR when the credits start to roll or to stop being a baby. However, television shows in particular have gone to new lengths in order to assure that shit will be spoiled.

As I mentioned above with the new hit program The Americans, FX and other networks like to run teasers for their entire run of programming for the evening at the :29 and :59 minute marks. The pros of this are obvious: the network is attempting to keep viewers of the previous program on their channel. While frustrating to the dedicated weekly viewer, I can let this slide, and perhaps take those extra 30 seconds to "medicate" more.

The more concerning offense is one by The History Channel, specifically with their new hit show, Vikings. While they too commit the transgression of the lead in spoiler promo, they heighten their crime with something I had never seen before: the pre-commercial teaser. After watching heart pounding action and being left in suspense as they go to commercial, The History Channel has decided to quash any sort of mystery for what's to come next BY TELLING YOU WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN NEXT! They run a 15 second teaser of what will happen 2.5 minutes after the current commercial break. Furthermore, it is impossible not to see, as they play it immediately after the previous scene ends. If this were the world of sports, it would be akin to watching  a baseball game on TV, and after an inning ends, Vin Scully telling us from the future that bases will be fully loaded in the inning to come. Not cool!

In this DVR, On Demand and Hulu/AppleTV world we live in, I understand that networks are trying to find newer and more innovative ways to bring in new audiences and keeping people tuned in. However,  unless you are either-  A. 60+ years old and don't know how to use a remote (which means you are only watching CBS or Jay Leno) or B:  Live under a rock. Point being, you are tuned into a particular network, and are there to watch the show they're about to air. All in all, STOP SPOLING WHAT IM ABOUT TO WATCH! 

Also, go watch The American and Vikings. Spoiler alert, they are really good. 

Sam Robinson - is a Video Editor who occasionally writes, periodically sleeps, and frequently farts in bed. Follow him on Twitter @haikusam.